Happy Samhain and Halloween.

I've run the gamut from abhorring to loving the Halloween season.

Needless to say, I loved it as a child. The season is fraught with fear, excitement and candy. There is no other smell on earth like the inside of a trick or treat bag. It is sweet and pungent. The mix is heady and powerful. It's a given I ate my favorite candy first, so the chocolate was gone in the blink of an eye, as were all grape suckers. I hoarded my candy for weeks. The candy often lasted until nearly Christmas.

My sister would get frustrated with me, because she was not as frugal with her candy. Hers would be gone, and she would ask me to share. I hate to admit it, but I didn't share. I got my candy fair and square, and she was not entitled to it!

When I had children, I had one hoarder, and one who instantly consumed everything with one inhalation. My daughter most likely has candy from her childhood hoarded in her room somewhere.  My son has surely eaten all his daughter's candy as we speak.

When my children were young, I enjoyed taking my children to trick or treat and handing out candy to children. I loved taking them to costume parties! As I got older, I began to hear about the dark side of Halloween, and the possible connection with human sacrifice. Masks were supposed to come from Druids who ripped the skin off the sacrifice's face, and wore it as their own face. It was also supposed to be the high holy day of the church of satan.

I bought it all, hook line and sinker. In those days I was a buyer. People told me things, and I believed them. Why would they lie?

I spent years buying full-sized packages of m&ms and attaching tiny bibles to them to give out for trick or treat. I was trying to save humanity from damnation.

I got older. I got wiser. I did some research. Halloween is an old pagan tradition. Doesn't have a particular thing to do with druids, or human sacrifice, or hideous things. It is a day to remember our ancestors, like Memorial day. The Celts called it Samhain. They believed the veil between the world of the living and the dead was lifted on that one evening.

The Catholic Church took the pagan holiday, and turned November 1 into All Saint's Day, or All Hallow's Day. Saints ,both known and unknown are remembered on that day.  The day before is All Hallow's Eve, thus the origin of Halloween.

I'm not a believer in damnation anymore. Nothing you can tell me, no bible passage will convince me otherwise. I've read the whole book, and I believe God is our father. I don't believe my father created me to send me to an eternal damnation if I don't walk his line. I can, once again, enjoy Halloween.

I  believe in my ancestors. I don't know for sure they wander the world on Samhain. I like to think they do. I enjoy lighting a fire outside on All Hallow's eve. I imagine my dear ancestors sitting by the fire, warming their soul. Perhaps they embrace me.  It is a comfort for me, and my soul is warmed at the thought. Isn't that what all rituals are meant to do?