Lesser of evils

Voting is our right. I am often glib about things, but voting is something I am duty-bound to do.


What in the heck am I supposed to do when nobody is running?


Every time elections roll around, I'm sick of hearing about candidates. I am more sick of hearing the candidates talk about each other. 


I understand how it gets started. A candidate may have honorable intentions, but when the personal attacks begin, it's hard to let them go by unanswered. It's like schoolyard squabbles. Once it starts, the tales grow taller.


The campaigns become poisonous. Liberals say Conservatives are stupid. Conservatives say Liberals are stupid.  Conservatives say Liberals are Hitler. Liberals say Conservatives are Hitler.  Liberals say Conservatives only eat green m & m candies and hate all others and want them outlawed. Conservatives say Liberals only eat green m & m candies and hate all others and want them all outlawed. Each side brings in experts to verify the jellybean conspiracy. It's frightening, dear friends.


I have it on good authority both parties are headed by illegal aliens from the Andromeda galaxy. They are here to cause a breakdown in the fabric of our society so they can swoop in with cash money and buy authentic Levi jeans at a deep discount.


I'm counting on you to keep this secret. If the Andromedians find out we're on to them, they may weaken the m & m market, too.